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The
NRI honeymoon is over
by Sushmita Bose from
Indians Abroad section of HT
The next
time you eye that NRI matrimonial classified advertisement
or surf wedding portals with a view to live out the Great
American Dream, keep in mind that it is, increasingly, turning
out to be a knotty affair: three out of five NRI marriages
in the US are being dissolved in less than a year. This sorry
state of Indian married life in the US will constitute a key
portion of a seminar, on NRIs in the US, organised by Seva
Legal Aid Foundation – an NGO working out of Fremont, California,
in the US.
The seminar,
that will also cover NRI investments and immigrations, will
be held on October 13 at New Delhi’s India International Centre.
The Great Indian Divorce There are around 18 million NRIs
in the US – these include green card holders, H1-B workers
and illegal immigrants. And the cookie is fast crumbling for
the Great Indian Wedding, held with traditional pomp back
home in India. “It is very easy for someone to file for a
divorce in the US,” says Anu Peshawaria, founder of Seva,
and an Indian Supreme Court attorney. “For under $500, you
can do the needful in a week’s time with the help of US Divorce
& Document Assistance.”
This is
the route being taken by NRI men – many of whom already have
live-in girlfriends but get married to keep their families
happy – and there are around 15,600 NRI divorces every year
in the US. “I handle at least 40 cases a month where the wives
come for help – they cannot imagine contesting a divorce as
one has to cough up $2,500-$3,000 as legal retainership, and
thereafter hourly fees,” she says. “There are even cases where
the men are gay but marry simply to gain social acceptance.”
The wives come on the H-4 visa, the ’spouse visa’, and cannot
find employment once their husbands leave them. One case that
Peshawaria handled recently involved an NRI working for a
software company, who married an Indian girl with the usual
fanfare.
In a year’s
time, he wanted out; by then, the couple already had a daughter.
He got himself a divorce, and in order to avoid paying maintenance,
he applied for a student visa and secured that too. Legal
Loopholes Advocate Anupam Tripathi says, “A divorce procured
in the US does not usually have a legal standing in India,
but this is a grey area: it is decided on a case to case basis,
and depends on the judge.” This, he adds, will only apply
if the husband returns to India. If he does not and chooses
to remain in the US, nothing can stop him from getting remarried
there.
Sandhya
Shukla, director, social services unit, Ministry of Overseas
Affairs (MOE), says, “The US is a federal state where every
state has its own laws, so it is easy for the man to go to
a state that has easier divorce laws and procure a divorce.
The wife will not even get to know of it – till she is slapped
with a notice.” Malay Mishra, joint secretary, diaspora services
division, MOE, says that the ministry is trying to “build
awareness about the credentials of NRI grooms in question.”
Shukla
adds that “starting February last year, we have organised
three conferences to educate people about the pitfalls of
NRI marriages – the NGOs will have a big role to play in this
campaign.” Many ‘victim’ families are keen to be volunteers
in this effort. However, nothing has been done to enforce
any guidelines abroad.
A sidelight
of the Great NRI Wedding is that more and more NRI men are
opting for Filipinos as they are considered, like their Indian
counterparts, good homemakers.
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